Why do we love people who don’t love us back?

Image From: Missionaries of Christ, ‘A christian’s love’,

Hi wonderful people. I hope you are all well and having a fabulous day.

For me, this is a really hard post to write. It bring backs so many emotions. So, If you are reading and can relate to this in any way, I would love to hear your thoughts, comments and stories.

I was driving on the highway this morning, listening to my all time favourite song, ‘Tequila’ by Dan and Shay. I honestly cannot get enough of their music. Even if you aren’t into country music, it doesn’t matter because their songs are so damn catchy. If you haven’t listened to their music before, check it out! I am in no way sponsored or paid to promote their music or anything along the lines of that however, I adjust adore them so much, and this song really sets the mood of this post. Maybe if you have a few minutes to listen before reading on.

Anyway, here I am getting distracted as per usual so, to the point.

When I used to listen to this song it brought back memories. Beautiful memories of time spent with a particular person. At the same time, these memories made me realise what I could have had, but didn’t end up with. This person lived over an hour away, and I guess he had a demanding job with little free time. I worked full time, studied online but even with everything on my plate, and whenever he wasn’t working, I would drive to see him. He changed jobs and worked over an hour away in the other direction, still, I drove to see him. I guess when you are in love with someone you do anything to spend time with them, every possible chance you get. Whether it’s early in the morning, or whether its 9 o’clock in the evening and you’re over two hours away, we do anything for love, even if you aren’t sure if the other person has the same feelings towards you. During this time, I was never actually sure if he felt the same way; I never really shared my feelings with him or asked the question; I was too scared to lose him.

We drank wine together, ate together and on one occasion we had shots of tequila together at a bar. This is where the song ‘Tequila” comes into the ‘storyline’. Every time I drank tequila, which was not very often, but on special occasions, all I thought about was this person. It reminded me of the times we spent together, and the love I felt when memories were made between us. The ending of song/film clip is the part that made me emotional. I mean, it shouldn’t have, its a happy ending, right? (If you watch the music video). To my memory, we had stopped talking for a couple of weeks because I thought that there was no point in trying. I said to myself, “he’ll never love me back”. Then, BOOM! He messaged me and said he loved me. In the midst of all the mixed emotions, something happened (wont’ go into too much detail) and Instead of being there for me, he left to pursue his career somewhere else. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I am super happy for this person, but super angry too. I always want people to be happy and chase their dreams, but I guess it depends on the situation at hand. For me, this situation made me realise that what’s meant to be is meant to be, and what’s not meant to be, you guessed it, is not meant to be. The reason that the ending to this film clip makes me so happy and angry all at once is because both characters found each other again, so maybe there love was meant to be. Mine was not.

This is not some soppy story to make anyone feel sorry for me, or to think the person who I’m talking about is horrible, because he’s not at all. This post is to talk about a subject which I think a lot of people probably keep to themselves. Loving someone and not having those feelings returned is just SHIT. I really don’t know any other word for it. I am sure we can all agree? It can bring us down and ruin our self esteem. We can’t always help the way we feel. I can just imagine how many women and men in this world are experiencing these feelings of loving someone who doesn’t love them back.

If you are one of these people, you are not alone.

The crazy thing is, this is the first time I have ever talked about this person in this light. I have never told anyone this until now. Sometimes it is easier to tell people you have never met. It’s honestly been eating me up inside for a long time, but I had felt like if I expressed my emotions to the people close to me, it would make me look weak and I eventually told myself to stop complaining. I had so much going on within my family at the time, and I thought that my feelings weren’t necessarily ‘important’. But I was wrong. Feelings are always important. In all seriousness, if there is one thing you should take away from this, it is to express your feelings, be you and be honest. Don’t feel weak, be strong, because really, that’s what you are, strong. If you tell someone you love them and you don’t get the same in return, maybe that’s what is meant to be, and that’s okay.

For me, I still think about the times spent with this person, but I turn it into something happy. Whether or not they think about me, I don’t care, everything that has happened has made me who I am today. So now when I listen to ‘Tequila’, I smile. Why frown when you can smile?

Life is full of opportunities and sometimes we feel like our world begins and ends with a certain person. Sometimes, circumstances change, you may end up coming back together, maybe you won’t. Whatever the outcome, continue to be yourself, talk about it, cry about it, laugh about it, move on from it, but just be happy, because ultimately, we pave the way for our own happiness.

So, I guess the title of this post was really asking a simple question? Why do we love people who don’t love us back? For me, it’s not an in depth answer, or the correct answer, if there is one. To me, its just because we are only human.

PS: Comment and share your stories or thoughts. If you haven’t heard the song tequila, or watched the film clip, check it out. The link is below.

Dan & Shay – ‘Tequila’: https://youtu.be/c4qgqNS_20s

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